Monday, September 15, 2008

Quarter life crisis

I am having a little difficulty sleeping. This is not a new phenomenon to me. Even though I woke up today at 7:00 am, and worked a 10 hour day, I am restless. I lay awake in bed thinking about my good job and am still unsatisfied. I am well paid, work with good people, and am challenged at work. I have a sweet girlfriend who gives me love and support. I am healthy and young, but I still lie awake unsatisfied trying to relax into sleep.
I think the thing missing in my life is creation. It has been a long time since I made anything. My last batch of mead was bottled over a month ago, and it was months before that that I made anything else. I have a wood lathe that I haven't used in something like a year. It has been about 4 years since i made anything out of clay. My website lies stagnant. I am considering dropping it for lack of interest. I have a few ideas for stories, but I can't seem to develop them into anything more than premises, devoid of personal meaning and realistic characters. I have read up on metalworking, but I have nowhere to practice it. I have a comfortable apartment all to myself and I feel the emptiness. I have enough room to stretch out and be comfortable, but nowhere to make a good and dirty productive mess. I have no garage or studio in which to ply one of my many crafts, and nobody to work with. I am very frustrated.
Adding to this creative itch, is the situation in the financial markets right about now. I just bought my first stock of the year and for my troubles I got a 33% loss. I want to invest my money wisely, but the wise choice in today's market seems to be to stay out. I am anxious that I may be wasting time, an in the investing world time means money. The real estate market is also in decline, which is not as upsetting to me as the decline in the stock market. I am following the real estate market with some interest. When the bottom is near I hope to be ready to buy a house. A house may help to solve my lack of workspace.
I guess I am around to that job that I so glowingly mentioned earlier. It is difficult for me to be upset at my job. I make a good wage, work with excellent people, and am given raises appropriate for my skill level, without having to petition or threaten to get them. The question I have is: how long do I want to be installing A/V gear. Also: What other job could I get that I am qualified for, interested in and could live off of. The only thing I can think that I would like to do a great deal is making custom props for TV/Movies. How do you get into that kind of work, and where could I sharpen my skills?

I guess I had better try to sleep, I have to be up at 7:00am and I am not good at mornings.

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