Friday, February 26, 2010

Thirsday outings

I went out tonight with a few friends to an art exhibit in Beverly Hills. It was put together by an old classmate of mine, who I never really connected with in high school. It was an interesting experience seeing a few of the people that I knew (if only peripherally) in a different setting 10 years separated from graduation. I am such a different person than I was when I met these people that its almost like meeting them for the first time.

I went with one of my close friends that I met in high school, we picked up some more friends and went to what wound up being an underground restaurant or something that had been rearranged to display art and allow for dancing and drinking. After a couple of hours he and the group of people that I arrived with left to go to a hip-hop club. I don't know the people they were going to meet and I am not really comfortable in clubs (and I would imagine less so in a hip-hp club) so I opted to stick around and catch a ride with some other friends. As it turns out the other friends were ready to go almost immediately and so I was done for the evening. A punk-looking band was just starting to play and I was catching a good vibe from a short girl in a red dress when we left. I caught a ride home feeling like I spent more time getting ready and getting there then I did actually being there.

I really regret not driving myself. Even if that left me knowing only three people there, I feel like I wasn't done. I wasn't invited and didn't know about the event until today but I still feel like I had more to do there.


Tomorrow night will be better.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Wing Chung

Tonight I had my first lesson in Wing Chung. Normally I study HapKiDo which is a Korean art, but after class I was able to get in a Wing Chung lesson with the visiting instructor. He is learning how to run a school from us, and while he is here he is teaching some of us his art.

The primary differences so far are that Hapkido is a soft style that emphasizes throwing and twisting, while Wing Chung is a hard style with lots of striking. In addition to the style differences the teaching is much different. Master Connard is a 7th degree black belt, who owns the HapKiDo studio, and Sifu Lopez is, I believe, a fifth degree black belt in Wing Chung. Master Connard has been forced to streamline the techniques for broader appeal and student safety. If I were to throw someone wrong or if they were to fall wrong they would be seriously injured. So far the blocks that I am learning from Sifu Lopez are harder on the wrists and arms but the "dumps" as he calls the throws are not as brutal. This is may be because of my limited knowledge. It should be an experience to learn a new style that is so different from the one I know.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Las Vegas Friends

A couple of years ago I would not have called myself a person who makes friends swiftly. I had a high bar for the title of friend, and a relatively closed circle of friends. Some of us seemed of the opinion that we had several very good friends and that was enough. In more recent times, thanks to my ex-girlfriend, and some of the friends-of-friends that I have grown close to, I have changed my mind to think that one can never have too many friends. I think I have even made one of my friends uncomfortable with how fast I insinuated myself into his circle of friends.

Even with this new attitude, I am still not that much of an outgoing person. I am not the kind of person who strikes up random conversations with strangers. It seems that everyone I know I met through someone. This is a very limiting behavior, and now I recognize it for what it is. While I was in Las Vegas I was thrown in with two distinct groups of people: the bachelor's work friends (to which I technically belonged) and the bachelor's personal friends. I knew about half of the people there but only by name. The bachelor and his younger brother were the only ones I was actually familiar with.

While at the Hoffbreauhaus, I was seated across from one of the people I didn't know. I talked to him for a bit, and when I mentioned that I was thinking of visiting San Fransisco after the wedding, but didn't know anyone up there, he gave me his card and told me to look him up. Now I know what you are thinking here. Some Guy from San Fransisco? wants to hang out? This dude is gay! Well despite the fact that he is a makeup artist, and was very well dressed, I am pretty sure he is not after my ass. Some of the conversation we had was about his recent breakup with his ex-girlfriend.

It was very neat to meet people and get such a positive reaction. I was not one of the awkward people there. I had no trouble talking to anyone, and I made a contact that can show me around a city that I would very much like to explore.

I also visited another friend who lives in Las Vegas and got along very well with him and two of his friends that were there. If I had had more time, I would have loved to go check out the band one of his friends was in and hang out more. Perhaps next time.

I took myself out of my normal circle and made friends and had good times. I feel more confident than I ever have before. This was a good trip.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Las Vegas Clubs

This past weekend was huge. I learned quite a bit about myself and about my perceptions of other people. I will be mulling over the situations that I got into for a good long time.

I attended a friend's bachelor party in Las Vegas. Knowing what happens at stereotypical bachelor parties and knowing that people go to Las Vegas to cut loose, I was somewhat hesitant to go. I am for the most part fairly shy. (Some of my friends would smirk at that statement but it is true.) In addition to that shyness (or perhaps because of it) I am uncomfortable at clubs, don't drink a lot, and don't know how to meet people without being introduced. This could have lead me to decline the trip, but I couldn't say no to what may be the only Las Vegas Bachelor Party I ever go to. I hit the store for some sharper clothes, and psyched myself up for what I feared could end with me walking the strip alone because I couldn't handle the party.

At this point I should clarify the crazyness level of the party. Most of us (myself included) got drunk, some of us (myself excluded) enjoyed substances of questionable legality. There were strippers but that was at a strip-club and to my knowledge there were no hookers.

Now back to talking about me. I only expected to know a minority of the people on the trip. I open up and am more comfortable when I know people, but before I do, I tend to be quiet and contemplative. That is not the attitude to take to Vegas so I did what I could to be more social and outgoing. It also helped that I knew more people than I expected if only by name.

The bar thing was ok, but we quickly got past that to clubs. I went with them to one club each night. I think this weekend doubles the number of clubs I have been to. A few things lead me to an increased understanding and comfort with the situation. First was the increased amount of drink I had by the second club, Second was the stripper I talked to before the second club, third was my observations of my fellow partiers at the first club. The first club that we went to was under Bill's Gamblin' Hall (formerly Barbary Coast) at a place called Drai's. I expected to be the awkward one sitting at a table nursing a drink, but there were to many people from my group already doing that. However, I was not confident enough to go out dancing, so there I stood in a kind of limbo in between the two states of lurk and dance.

By the second club, I had drunk in order: a shot of whiskey, 2 liters of dark beer, a white Russian, and two Jack and cokes. This combined with my abject refusal to be a wallflower for another day made me want to dance. I just couldn't find the proper approach vector to get in. I did give it a shot with a couple of girls dancing alone but one started getting text messages from another of their friends and they got all distracted. This put me solidly in the lead for the night with interactions with women (if you don't count the strippers). A bit later I talked to a random couple sitting near me and asked point blank what the approach protocol is in dancing with people. They said that it is just confidence and a direct approach. I am going to have to work on that but, once I went back out, there didn't seem to be any girls without guys around, and we were ready to move on anyway. I was all done spending money for the night so I went home at a respectable 4:00am and they continued back to Drai's, the club we had been at the night before. I learned some lessons about interactions and expectations this trip and I think that I am more prepared for these things. I am actually looking forward to going out again in the future.

There is more but that's enough for tonight.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Beatings, Bars and Balls

Friday was ok. I left work early (a regular occurrence with such slow work) and headed over to help my brother train for his Black Belt test. This means that we go over the techniques and he throws me on the ground a lot. He has it down and most of the focus is me learning how to fall without hurting myself. I mostly failed at falling and got a bruised elbow and sprained ankle for my troubles. Watched "District 9" with some friends. That movie is very brutal. The view of humanity lacking empathy and care for any group that can be portrayed as an outsider is harsh, and I hope overstated.

Saturday was lunch with family. I hadn't had sushi since I broke up with the ex and that was good. That night I went out with some friends. We hit the Yardhouse where our hot little friend Jess offered to be a great wingman (wingbabe?) and come out drinking and such with us, but after half a sandwich she started feeling sick and had to be taken home. This cut our crew in half but undaunted we charged on to the heart of old town Pasadena. The trouble is that I am very uncomfortable with the whole "bar scene" and had difficulty adjusting. We went first to a bar whose name I don't remember and Brook was digging the sound and there was a live DJ and an artist working on a painting. Not to mention some very attractive ladies. We left for no good reason and headed over to Q's poolhall where we took in a drink and had a conversation about the whole interaction that we were watching but not participating in. It is a game or perhaps a hunt. And neither he nor I is particularly skilled at making the point or bagging the kill. After a little while we headed home no worse for the wear and contemplative of how to make the situation work better next time.

Sunday was as everyone knows THE SUPERBOWL. I really don't give a care about sports. So the game was a chance to hang out with friends, drink some beers and watch large men crash into each other on TV. I had a small bet with the same girl that left early on Saturday for a dinner. I was pro saints and she was pro colts and the loser would cook the winner dinner. Despite the fact that I won the bet, I am not going to collect. It would involve going out to her place on the westside and hanging with her roommates and I am just not interested in that situation. Also my friend is interested in her so I am just not going to get into that situation. She left in beginning of the fourth and this leaving early thing is starting to be a pattern.

That is all there is to report for this weekend. I would call it a solid Good. Next weekend is Las Vegas so we shall see what that brings.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Writing

I have a story that I think I am going to write. The problem is that I don't know how to write. Well clearly I can write in blog or essay form but I'm talking dialogue here. I have only ever written three short stories and one of them was stream-of-consciousness type cheating. I am going to have to start small. Some very short prose probably posted here to warm me up. Lets see how I do.