Yesterday I had an interview for a job that is outside my field of experience. I have spent the last six years installing professional audio and video broadcast gear and now I am trying to get a job in another field. Changing careers is a daunting proposition but I feel that it is time to move on.
No small part of this decision is my girlfriend's advice and support. The interview was with the same company that she works at but in a different position and with a different team. I know that trying to work for the same company as your significant other can be a bad idea but the positives so steeply outweigh the negatives that I have to give it a shot.
I am now in that uncomfortable waiting period where I have done all that I can do and now must wait for their decision. I am not still searching right now because I have months more work at my current job. I feel a little guilty because I may be ditching my team at a critical point where they need me, but I have to do what I think is right for myself and for my future.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Change of Role
People have different inclinations and different strengths. Some people are very athletic, some people are intelligent, and some people are supportive friends. These strengths and weaknesses can sometimes define a relationship and other times be defined by a relationship.
I am reluctant to make comparisons between my ex and my girlfriend but this post is not about comparing these women but about my personal growth and how my life is influenced by the personalities of others. The reason I am using this example is because it is so unique of a situation, where the person in the role of significant other has changed but the repercussions of that role are much the same. I had six months to recenter myself as a single person and now another six months to align myself with this girlfriend and there are very compelling differences.
When I was with my ex-girlfriend, I was the more intellectual person in the couple. I had the inclination to read books and to plan projects and measure things, whereas she found the process of preparation to be fatally boring. I was the one to handle logistics and the one to drive. She was the driving force for physical things like running or hiking, and with a strong need to be outside and moving, she drove me to being a more physically active person. The roles in that relationship were assigned in a certain way and I became used to that.
Now I am in a different relationship with a very different woman and the roles are predictably very different. I am now the less intellectual one and the more physical one. I am the runner and she in running to share in my interest. I am reading one of her books (The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde) and learning to speak Spanish. I am coming to grips with that shift in perspective. I was the "smart" one and now I am not.
The idea of self identity is not something everyone ponders but I do. I have defined myself to some extent by my intelligence but now here in this pairing I am not exceptional. There is little use in trying to find some arbitrary scale that will accurately define which of us is smarter, but I can say this with certainty: she is much better educated than I am. So now comes the part where I could be threatened or insecure about this change in position but I am not. I am now in a place where I can debate and discover, consider and collaborate on the topics that interest us.
The physical role in an interesting reversal as well. I have been used to being overweight and awkward for so much of my life that now with my running and martial arts I am feeling strong and confident in a way I never have before. I want to share this with my girlfriend so that she can feel what I feel when I jump easily over a barrier or finish off a 5 mile run. (its been quite a while since I have run more than 3 miles but I am getting there) I am now the instigating force in things like this (she dances but dancing and running are not the same level of cardio) and it is a strange place to be in.
I am reluctant to make comparisons between my ex and my girlfriend but this post is not about comparing these women but about my personal growth and how my life is influenced by the personalities of others. The reason I am using this example is because it is so unique of a situation, where the person in the role of significant other has changed but the repercussions of that role are much the same. I had six months to recenter myself as a single person and now another six months to align myself with this girlfriend and there are very compelling differences.
When I was with my ex-girlfriend, I was the more intellectual person in the couple. I had the inclination to read books and to plan projects and measure things, whereas she found the process of preparation to be fatally boring. I was the one to handle logistics and the one to drive. She was the driving force for physical things like running or hiking, and with a strong need to be outside and moving, she drove me to being a more physically active person. The roles in that relationship were assigned in a certain way and I became used to that.
Now I am in a different relationship with a very different woman and the roles are predictably very different. I am now the less intellectual one and the more physical one. I am the runner and she in running to share in my interest. I am reading one of her books (The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde) and learning to speak Spanish. I am coming to grips with that shift in perspective. I was the "smart" one and now I am not.
The idea of self identity is not something everyone ponders but I do. I have defined myself to some extent by my intelligence but now here in this pairing I am not exceptional. There is little use in trying to find some arbitrary scale that will accurately define which of us is smarter, but I can say this with certainty: she is much better educated than I am. So now comes the part where I could be threatened or insecure about this change in position but I am not. I am now in a place where I can debate and discover, consider and collaborate on the topics that interest us.
The physical role in an interesting reversal as well. I have been used to being overweight and awkward for so much of my life that now with my running and martial arts I am feeling strong and confident in a way I never have before. I want to share this with my girlfriend so that she can feel what I feel when I jump easily over a barrier or finish off a 5 mile run. (its been quite a while since I have run more than 3 miles but I am getting there) I am now the instigating force in things like this (she dances but dancing and running are not the same level of cardio) and it is a strange place to be in.
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