New Job

I got a new job on Monday. I was called in for an interview for a desktop support position in an IT department that a friend of mine manages. I spoke to my friend, and he had me come in for an informal interview with the person who would become my boss. It went well and he was able to offer me the position. It wasn't a total hookup; my friend was given my resume by HR after I applied for a different position at the same company, and he ran it by my supervisor to get the OK from him. I have a 90 day freelance period to prove that I can handle this job, and I am determined not to let myself, my girlfriend and my friend down.
My first day was Tuesday and I have tried to soak up as much knowledge as I can. The IT team knows that I don't have all the knowledge to do the job, and they are prepared to train me up on how things are done. I am eager to learn whatever I can and to prove myself. I am excited and nervous at the opportunity and the challenge. On one hand I know that I can learn this but on the other hand, I know that my success in this position hangs on a thread. If I don't perform, or if the company decides that they don't need me or if my boss doesn't like me, then I am out.
So far it has been a wonderful experience. The company is a very good one and the people are very kind and welcoming. My team is very smart and capable, and they are all willing to take time to teach me the things that I need to know. I really want to keep this job and will have to work hard to do it. I need to step up my game and learn more about computers than I ever thought I would need to know, but I am up to the task.

Career Paths

It has been a long journey from community college to work, and back to community college. Seven or so years ago I decided that I didn't need any more school and that it was time to get to work. I took my associates degree and forged on. I had a job with a small company and plenty of room to grow. The economy turned down and my job dried up. I was lost and without needed to figure out a new career plan. I retreated back to school and re-rationalized my situation. "I need a four-year degree." I told myself. "I need to follow the standard education plan in order to succeed in the world of business." I said. I changed my opinion completely from what I had asserted before.

It really goes to show how circumstances can affect your rationalization of facts. I have selected which facts to pay attention to and which to ignore at each stage in my career path. When community college was becoming a drag, I moved on with the rationalization that the most wealthy people are not wealthy because of school. When work dried up I retreated to the familiar comfort of school, and the safety of the defined path of bachelors degree to career.

I am now at the potential beginning of something serious. I have gotten a job as desktop support with a large company. My job starts with a 90 day term as freelance during which they can fire me for any reason. I have three months to prove that I am worth keeping. I am able to look back at my rationalizations and dissect them for the truth of the matter.

It is true that the wealthiest people are not wealthy because of school. The wealthiest people have a drive and determination that is called being a "self starter" on job postings. I am not sure that I am a self starter. I need a little more guidance than that to really get going. I can't help but feel that this is a major character flaw and that I am a lazy person. I don't know how to fix this. How does one become a self starter? There can't be a class or a book, if you need help to self start then you are not a self starter. I am not sure what to do with this thought but it worries me and makes me feel like I am lacking.

I know that I am going to do whatever I can to keep this job. I have been researching the different certifications that I can earn through Microsoft, and am enrolled in the first of a series of classes to earn Cisco Certified Network Associate (CCNA) certification. I have a direction and I am determined to make progress. I need to acquire the skills to hold this job and along the way I will earn the certifications that will allow me to find another one like it if this one doesn't work out.

Priorities

I have registered for my next two sessions of school. I will have a light load during the short winter intersession and a very heavy load during Spring 2012 semester. I have been conflicted as to how to make up my schedule. There are classes that I need to take to transfer, classes that I want to take because they will be professionally helpful, and classes that I want to take because they look fun. The trouble comes when I have to decide which classes from each category to take. I also had to decide if I was going to try and work while I take classes. I have been effectively unemployed for a few months now and I have been looking for work that would utilize my skills. Perhaps I have been too picky about what kinds of jobs I am willing to try for, but that is a topic for another post.

 I am registered for all the classes that I need to take to get my transfer certificate, but that was not a full load. I decided that I was going to go for a full schedule in school while I have the chance, and filled up the rest of my schedule with classes that are good for me or fun to take. My class load is: General Physics, Physical Anthropology, Spanish 2, Welding, and Sculpture. I have filed a petition to be allowed to take more units so that I can add the first class in a series that will prepare me for the test to be a Certified Cisco Network Administrator (CCNA).

I am excited for the upcoming Spring and however daunting the workload, I feel that I am up to the challenge. By the Fall of 2012 I will be transfering to either Cal State LA or Cal Poly Pomona (assuming of course that they accept my application). It is a good feeling to have a plan and a path laid out before me.

Funny

It occurred to me that I have only one mode when writing fiction. INTENSE! I can only write suspenseful things. I think my next writing project is going to be to shift gears and write something funny. Stay tuned Gentile Reader for more information.

Failure

Things have been bad for a while. I have less and less money every month. My job gives me only a day of work for every week or two, and I have not been able to find another job. Part of this is may be my unwillingness to search for retail positions. The end result is that I am once again looking to move back in with my mother. This time I will be taking my girlfriend with me.

This has been both a difficult and simple decision. I know that the rent that we are paying is unnecessary. I know that I will have the same amount of autonomy that I have now. I will also have access to more crafting space in the garage. I will be able to focus on getting my bachelors degree in as short a time as possible, without the added pressure of needing to work.

The problem is a social one. I have to move back into my mothers house after a second failed attempt to live on my own. Novia and I will once again be sharing our space. It is a hard thing to consider. I look around at the home we have put together and see that in two months, when our lease it up, it will all be gone. Our home will be dismantled, and the pieces will never again form the configuration that they hold now. The home that this apartment represents will cease to be. It will be another white box in another pile of boxes and the time we spent here will be over.

It feels like I have failed.

It hurts. 

Black Belt Judgement

Today I sat at the instructors table during a black belt pretest. It was quite an eye opening experience. I was assigned three of the nine black belt candidates to pay special attention to. It was very strange to watch the test with a critical eye almost a year and a half after taking it myself. I could see the errors and properly executed techniques clearly. I have been training for my second degree but at the same time I have been giving some of my time, every time I go to the dojo, to the other students there. I have been learning how to teach.

With this realization I am more able to see my own progress and find myself on the path to second degree. This is what makes learning alone so much more difficult than learning from a master. Once the test was half way through I already knew who was good enough and who was not. I could see the strengths and weaknesses as if they were written on the student's gi.

After the test, Master Connard took us into his office to discuss the students. I was very uncertain about being included in the group that was judging the progress of the black belt candidates. It felt very strange to be sharing my opinion of their hapkido. He also charged us with showing the other students what they needed to do to master their moves. He told us, "You all know what they need. Make sure they get there."  It is a responsibility that I had only been half-heartedly fulfilling. Now I need to share what I know with those coming down the path.  

Mead Batch 8

Novia and I just bottled mead batch 8. This batch has come out wonderfully. It was made with two vanilla beans, and had oak chips added to simulate barrel aging.

This batch was one of constant adjustments. It started with 12 lbs of honey and a 1.10 original gravity. After primary fermentation the specific gravity had fallen to 1.022 I was concerned that the yeast would not have enough sugar to reach full fermentation. Because of this, I added 5lbs. of honey and brought the specific gravity up to 1.060. During secondary fermentation The specific gravity dropped down to 1.038 but because of excess sweetness I added 1 liter of water and knocked the S.G. down to 1.034.

This batch yielded 18 liters of mead in 16 regular size wine bottles and four double size bottles. Unfortunately because of the constant adjustments, especially the addition of the liter of water, I am not able figure out an accurate percent of alcohol. My guess will have to be based on fuzzy math. I think the resultant mead has 12.3% alcohol by volume.

It will be hard to keep from drinking this one up. I need to keep a bottle for competition next year. I will definitely be opening a bottle tomorrow for my birthday party.