Elizabethtown

I am sitting in my apartment watching Elizabethtown. I haven't seen this movie in what... Years? I first saw this with my then-girlfriend Sarah. I really like this movie. It strikes a cord with me like few other movies have. When I first watched it, every scene with the male and female leads made Sarah and me squeeze closer together. It seemed to fit us, the fun outgoing and impulsive girl and the more straight laced stable guy following her lead and learning to be more fun. It wasn't actually a good representation but we both liked to see it that way and so we did.

Watching this movie again, I keep remembering the way it felt to be with her, the bad parts are worn away by time leaving the shining gold of everything that was good between us. It is sometimes hard to see her or to think of her and remember that we do not belong together. Elizabethtown, Amelie, and Garden State, are movies that will always remind me of her, and what a great girl she is. Seeing her in her social scene where she shines is at the same time difficult and reassuring. (I would never see her in my social scenes)

I am afraid that this admission will cause everyone who reads this to think that I am not over her. There is nothing I can say about this. Nobody is really capable of telling exactly when they are over another person. All that I can say is that I would not have made the decision if I wasn't sure, and that I am ready to move on.

I was talking to one of my closest female friends about movies and happened to mention something about the character or the movie or something and we got to talking about character archetypes and she brought up what is called the "Manic-Pixie-Dreamgirl" and how ridiculous this troupe is. I don't know if she was right or not. I had a Manic-Pixie-Dreamgirl and although it didn't work out I am still looking for someone like that. I fall in love with Clare a little when I watch Elizabethtown. I see that kind of fun spirit and want that in my life.

I suppose that the question is whether that really exists or not, and secondarily whether someone like that is compatible with me. I am fairly sure that girls like this exist; my ex and a boatload of her friends are examples of this. The real problem is whether I can ever sustain a relationship with someone like this. Recent events seem to cast doubt on that. Am I too boring? Doubtful. Have I just not found her yet? Did I find her and so find the failure that must be the ultimate result?

I hope