There is an artist called Mr. Brainwash. Anyone who has seen the movie "Exit Through Gift Shop" will be familiar with his story but for those who are not, here is a brief summary. One day a man with a camera obsession found his way into the world of street art (some would say graffiti) and met a bunch of influential street artists (some wold say vandals). He eventually met one of the most influential artists, a man who calls himself Banksy. This video enthusiast convinced Banksy and a bunch of the others to let him film their work. Finally he became so interested that they convinced him to make a movie with his tapes. He did. It stank. Banksy then told the man that he would re-edit the movie and that the man should go pursue other interests. This is when Mr. Brainwash was born. The videographer became a street artist (some would say copycat) and started working on his own art. This culminated in a huge art show in 2008 that cemented Mr. Brainwash as an artist and a public figure.
Today I watched an interesting show called "A Day In The Life." This episode focused on Mr. Brainwash and was an interesting update to his story. Some people think he is an amazing artist and some think he is a hopelessly derivative poser. I am not sure what to think. If he is anything, he is an art director as he relies heavily on others to bring his visions to life. This begs the question: how is this any less valid than a film director.
During the show Mr. Brainwash (who speaks in broken English with a strong french accent despite his 20+ years in this country) spoke about how he believes that everyone has a diamond inside them and that you have to polish that diamond and keep polishing it until it shines so bright that people come to you. I don't know what I think about him as an artist but he got where he is by sheer guts and a willingness to do crazy things because they interested him, and to take things to then next level and then the next. As I sat there watching him, I thought about the pure chutzpah that he must have to put on art show after art show of things that he did not make himself and brand it with his name (and apparently his blood). I am a little ashamed of my lack of commitment in the face of his insane bravado.
On a related note, my girlfriend has recently read "Notes From the Underground" by Fyodor Dostoyevsky and told me how the book reminded her of me. Apparently the book is mostly a philosophical essay and very little plot. The central theme (or at least the theme that related to me as I have not read the book) is that there are two kinds of people (aren't there always) the dumb ones who get shit done and the smart ones who are paralyzed by their potential and all the possibilities laid out before them. She said that the paralysis spoken of in the book reminds her of me. I cannot argue against that assessment. I am a man of shattered interests. I am constantly drawn into different interests. I dabble in one art, craft, or interest until I reach the point where I would have to invest significant time or money and then I move on. I wind up attaining a moderate skill level in numerous different tasks.
For example: I am currently writing an novel. I have not trained for this task and am afraid that it will be too big for me to handle. I constantly second-guess myself and have almost no process to keep the words flowing. I am to embarrassed to mention what I have on the back burner but some of my planned projects have been sitting idle for months or years. What will it take to snap me out of my useless dabbling?
When I have new friends over I typically show them the "I Made This" tour and I always get oohs and aahs, but all of my neat things are financially draining hobbies and not productive efforts. I wish I knew how to bridge that gap.
Having said that, I am pretty sure that I do know how to bridge the gap but I am unsure if I am capable of doing it. I need to focus on one thing and give it all of my spare attention. I need to be passionate about one thing and carry it as far as it will go and farther. I need to find the strength and force of will to carry something beyond what a reasonable person would do and into the realm of the truly inspired. I am not sure I have that in me. I keep waiting for someone to show me where to go and what to do, but there are no guides to where I want to be. The first people through the door always shut it behind them or are rushed with such a crowd that it doesn't matter any more. (I apologize for the rampant mixed metaphors but it is late and I like metaphors. ( I am also sorry for all the parenthesis.))
Here I sit once again at 2:30am thinking hard into the quiet spaces and pouring it out into the internet. I don't know how to make this dream into a reality. I guess I will just go to sleep and maybe it will hit me tomorrow in the shower.
Today I watched an interesting show called "A Day In The Life." This episode focused on Mr. Brainwash and was an interesting update to his story. Some people think he is an amazing artist and some think he is a hopelessly derivative poser. I am not sure what to think. If he is anything, he is an art director as he relies heavily on others to bring his visions to life. This begs the question: how is this any less valid than a film director.
During the show Mr. Brainwash (who speaks in broken English with a strong french accent despite his 20+ years in this country) spoke about how he believes that everyone has a diamond inside them and that you have to polish that diamond and keep polishing it until it shines so bright that people come to you. I don't know what I think about him as an artist but he got where he is by sheer guts and a willingness to do crazy things because they interested him, and to take things to then next level and then the next. As I sat there watching him, I thought about the pure chutzpah that he must have to put on art show after art show of things that he did not make himself and brand it with his name (and apparently his blood). I am a little ashamed of my lack of commitment in the face of his insane bravado.
On a related note, my girlfriend has recently read "Notes From the Underground" by Fyodor Dostoyevsky and told me how the book reminded her of me. Apparently the book is mostly a philosophical essay and very little plot. The central theme (or at least the theme that related to me as I have not read the book) is that there are two kinds of people (aren't there always) the dumb ones who get shit done and the smart ones who are paralyzed by their potential and all the possibilities laid out before them. She said that the paralysis spoken of in the book reminds her of me. I cannot argue against that assessment. I am a man of shattered interests. I am constantly drawn into different interests. I dabble in one art, craft, or interest until I reach the point where I would have to invest significant time or money and then I move on. I wind up attaining a moderate skill level in numerous different tasks.
For example: I am currently writing an novel. I have not trained for this task and am afraid that it will be too big for me to handle. I constantly second-guess myself and have almost no process to keep the words flowing. I am to embarrassed to mention what I have on the back burner but some of my planned projects have been sitting idle for months or years. What will it take to snap me out of my useless dabbling?
When I have new friends over I typically show them the "I Made This" tour and I always get oohs and aahs, but all of my neat things are financially draining hobbies and not productive efforts. I wish I knew how to bridge that gap.
Having said that, I am pretty sure that I do know how to bridge the gap but I am unsure if I am capable of doing it. I need to focus on one thing and give it all of my spare attention. I need to be passionate about one thing and carry it as far as it will go and farther. I need to find the strength and force of will to carry something beyond what a reasonable person would do and into the realm of the truly inspired. I am not sure I have that in me. I keep waiting for someone to show me where to go and what to do, but there are no guides to where I want to be. The first people through the door always shut it behind them or are rushed with such a crowd that it doesn't matter any more. (I apologize for the rampant mixed metaphors but it is late and I like metaphors. ( I am also sorry for all the parenthesis.))
Here I sit once again at 2:30am thinking hard into the quiet spaces and pouring it out into the internet. I don't know how to make this dream into a reality. I guess I will just go to sleep and maybe it will hit me tomorrow in the shower.
1 comment:
oh and Dad, I read your email on
than and then, and paid attention this time.
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