On a recent flight to New York, I had a chance to watch an episode of “Inside the Actors Studio.” This episode featured Hugh Jackman. I have liked Hugh’s work for various reasons but had not realized how many fantastic films he has acted in. From fun action films like the X-men series and swordfish to tense thrillers like “The Prestige” and emotional films like Les Miserables. It was during the discussion of Les Miserables and in analysis of his performance that I really came to understand one of the most beautiful themes of the film.
I have loved the Musical form of Les Mis for a long time. I have seen it staged three times and when I watched the recent movie version, I cried. The themes of love, righteousness (for good and ill), and protection resonate with me. In this interview, they play a clip of Jackman singing “Who am I?” This clip was chosen for its emotional depth and the raw quality of his singing performance. The conversation was on the unusual process of filming a musical with the songs performed live on set and the accompaniment being performed live (on piano before later doing the orchestral work) to match the actors performance. The scene was not one of my favorites. I thought that the choice of location was strange and the camera angles too tight. This time, however I saw the scene in comparison to the later reprise by Javert.
The question of “Who am I” is not one asked in a static situation, it is one of revolution. The re-assessment of ones life when you have reached a point of no return. ValJean decides to tear up his parole papers (and symbolically his previous life) and to become someone new. Alone, and at the end of his rope, ValJean chooses to be reborn, to dedicate himself to become a righteous man and to rebuild. Never mind the improbability of a man rising from the dregs of society to become a mayor, that part is glossed over. The point is that he choses life.
In a similar situation of desperation, Javert chooses death. Javert is an agent of order. He believes in the righteousness of the law and cannot conceive of a situation in which disobeying the law is the right thing to do. When confronted with a criminal, who is in fact a good man, his world view is shaken. Javert’ paradigm cannot survive such a shaking and he commits suicide. He sings “I’ll escape now from that world / from the world of Jean ValJean,” and so he finds his escape in death.
There are many times in our lives that we each must re-evaluate what the world is and who we are. I knew from the first night I met my girlfriend that I would have to be a better version of myself to be with her. I have had to change my career choice when confronted with the insufficiency of my current trajectory. I will need to redefine myself when I have children and will have to redefine again when they are gone from my care (but never from my heart).
What do you do when you are confronted with a world that does not work for you? cry out “Unfair!” entrench? refuse to change? You may as well ask the sun to rise in the west. Sometimes people cheat. Sometimes there is no food. Technology advances. Children grow up. Gravity pulls us all. When faced with these constant changes, I try to think of it as a constant process of refinement. I try to see the parts of myself that are not helping me and reshape them into a better form.
The interview ended with an excellent question from a producing student from the California Institute of the Arts. She asked how acting helped in his personal and professional relationships. This question sparked some very profound words from Hugh. he starts by saying “One of the greatest roadblocks in a relationship is how increasingly we take things for granted.” The automatic reactions to things and a lack of being “Awake” and in the moment can rob the life from interactions. It is easy to fall into a state of not giving yourself to the moments and people in your life. He goes on to say “Sometimes you can sleep for years in a relationship. You're not really awake not really looking in each others eyes not really seeing each other for the first time.” Here again I see the choice to live or not presented in your everyday existence. One must always strive to be awake and present otherwise you are not living but merely existing.
I will be present in my life and make myself into the person I want to be. (unless the zombie apocalypse happens in which case forget this touchy feely bullshit, I will do what it takes)
