I have once again run into one of those hateful quirks of the internet that can drive a man crazy. Many of my friends have blogs of their own, and of course when you have a blog you post your feelings much like I am doing right now. This allows you to gripe anonymously and get things off your chest. The problem occurs when you wish to vent about a friend who is in your social network or subscribes to your blog. I have recently found a third place where a friend has posted something that I perceive as negative about me on the net in a place I should not have seen it. There were no names and the post was written to not point out who it was about but I felt it was about me and about a conversation I had. I was alerted by a mutual friend as before, and I had to figure out how to proceed. It is a different friend posting and a different friend notifying me each time, so It is not a personal pattern, but a general one.
This is one of the most seductive things about the internet. The ability to anonymously, blow off steam, or offend with no real fear of consequences. Should I be offended when my friends post negative things about me on the internet where they think I won't find them? I feel that it is as if they are talking behind my back. Or is it just a common part of our hyper-connected culture that I need to accept. Is it acceptable to post something behind a privacy filter so that some of your friends can see you complaining about another friend? Or should these things be open to anyone trolling the internet? I am left offended but uncertain as to how justified I am in my offence.
I try to resolve differences in person and with no ambiguous terms. Not everyone is as assertive when they have been offended or perceive that they have offended others. I posted months ago about a friend that decided that they don't like me and would not like to be around me if we didn't have mutual friends. In that case I let the matter go, but in this case I wish to repair the friendship. I enjoy spending time with this friend, we have things in common, and are in regular communication. This makes me feel like the whenever this person looks at me they are thinking "what an asshole" and I care about the opinions of those I chose to surround myself with, and if there is a problem, I want it resolved.
So I got in contact with this friend to talk it out. In the post It seemed to me that my friend was upset at some things I said and I wanted to clear the air and expunge the offence. The conversation can be summed up shortly
ME: I saw this thing. what's up?
Friend: WTF? that wasn't really about you
ME: so we good then?
Friend: we're good <3
Now I'm not sure if I'm still the asshole for bringing it up or emo for getting all upset. Am I in the wrong for peeking into a private post? or should the friend not have posted about me hidden from me? It is very difficult to find boundaries on the internet. Now here I am posting in vague terms about a friend who posted in vague terms about me. So is this just repeating the offence? Damn this is complicated.
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