It seems that I have been struggling with being an artist for most of my adult life. I have struggled with the definition, variously using the terms craftsman, artist, and maker. I have also always stood on the edge and never jumped in with both feet. I have often asked myself why I don't throw caution to the wind and try out the life of an artist. What would it take for me to take a year off and be an artist?
I never have because of two main factors. The first is my own unreliability. I can gain a proficiency in most things in short order. I inherited from my parents; an ability to soak up different techniques like a sponge (an ability that my mother only discovered in the last few years). I can sometimes pick up a new craft by picking up a book and reading about the process. This is how I learned meadmaking and bookbinding. The trouble is that I can never seem to stick to it. I find reasons to stop progressing in one domain and move on to another. It can be because the next step requires costly tools or materials or that I am fascinated by something else or it can be that the other projects or life goals get in the way and I give up.
The second deterrent factor is the examples I have from the two truest craftsmen that I have personally known. My father, who is cursed with the same wandering attention as I have, spent a number of years doing custom cabinetry. It was an unsustainable model based on a high level of skill with quality materials against the wearing down of the crafstman hour by hour. He eventually had to leave that line of work. The other example is of my high school ceramics teacher who kindled in me my love of pottery. He told me of his early days as a production potter where he would work constantly to produce salable pottery and then truck it around to galleries trying to get his work shown. He eventually moved to the world of teaching where he could have a more reasonable schedule.
I don't think that I can live either of these lives. I cannot throw away my steady reliable job to give this a shot.
Can I?
I never have because of two main factors. The first is my own unreliability. I can gain a proficiency in most things in short order. I inherited from my parents; an ability to soak up different techniques like a sponge (an ability that my mother only discovered in the last few years). I can sometimes pick up a new craft by picking up a book and reading about the process. This is how I learned meadmaking and bookbinding. The trouble is that I can never seem to stick to it. I find reasons to stop progressing in one domain and move on to another. It can be because the next step requires costly tools or materials or that I am fascinated by something else or it can be that the other projects or life goals get in the way and I give up.
The second deterrent factor is the examples I have from the two truest craftsmen that I have personally known. My father, who is cursed with the same wandering attention as I have, spent a number of years doing custom cabinetry. It was an unsustainable model based on a high level of skill with quality materials against the wearing down of the crafstman hour by hour. He eventually had to leave that line of work. The other example is of my high school ceramics teacher who kindled in me my love of pottery. He told me of his early days as a production potter where he would work constantly to produce salable pottery and then truck it around to galleries trying to get his work shown. He eventually moved to the world of teaching where he could have a more reasonable schedule.
I don't think that I can live either of these lives. I cannot throw away my steady reliable job to give this a shot.
Can I?
